Mindful of our Words

There is power behind our words.  Most of the time we are unaware of this power.  Things come out of our mouths, and we repeatedly don’t think about what we say.  The word logos is a Greek word traditionally meaning “word” or “thought.”  Logos is especially relevant in the Gospel of John, where Jesus himself is represented as logos or “Word.”  "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God." (John 1:1).  Christians identify the Bible as “The Word of God.”  In Genesis, God created the world from His “Word.”  It was through logos that the world was created, and it is through logos that we create our reality. 

What kind of reality are we creating?  Are we creating a reality of endless joy and possibility, or are we stuck in a limiting world?  I often hear people say “I can’t do that,” or “I’m horrible at that.”  The word “can’t” is limiting.  Henry Ford famously said, “Whether you say you can or you can’t, you’re right.”  If only we taught our children this truth!  If only we understood this truth ourselves.  When you say you “can’t” do something, you’re cutting off the possibility of doing it.  I hear it often with my students, and I find myself telling them over and over again to rephrase their words. 

“Can’t” isn’t the only limiting word.  “Should,” “try,” and “hate” are others.  I have had a difficult time myself eliminating “try” out of my vocabulary.  “Try” implies the likelihood of future failure.  Very rarely will you hear professional athletes or businesspeople use the word “try” when competing.  Another powerful combination of limiting words are the words “good” and “bad.”  Growing up in a Christian tradition, these words flooded my reality.  I judged everything based on “good” and “bad.”  I was ego-dominant.  If you use limiting words, you will be limited.  “Good” and “bad” are words of judgment, words produced by our egos.  Our egos seek to do three things:  judge, control, and want to feel accepted.  They are the cause of suffering, the most limiting in the realm of spirituality.  They are the pathway to Pride, the leading vice of the fall.  So one begins to put together clues.  Judgment itself is neither good nor bad.   It’s necessary practically.  Nevertheless, you can still live practically without using the words “good” or “bad.”  When eliminating those words, we accept the present moment as it is and find a deeper peace within ourselves that we have long searched for.  When we transcend our egoic mind, we open the way to our inner self where all creativity and intuition lie.  All of the greatest feats and accomplishments first come from this inner presence, the place where God dwells. 

Our words have power; our words create our reality.  Tomorrow morning, I encourage you to wake up in the morning, and instead of saying “Good god it’s morning,” say “Good morning God!”  

Coat of Many Colors

Song written by Anna's Kin in December 2010
 
Verse 1  
This coat of many colors   despised by many brothers
Those dreams of sheaves a-bowin now
Close friends plot against me
To bring down all that I see
But I walk forward to the crown

Prechorus
I was called higher
To set hearts on fire
To change this world around

Chorus
Oh the possibilities     appoint the wondrous mysteries
Oh the path laid in front of me   the lights   the blessing I see
Beyond the walls of deception    what I once believed
Enter the uncharted waters the presence I be
My heart is open and ready to enter the midst
The almighty presence  eternal bliss

Verse 2
In front the giant calling   old men people stalling
Caught in the safety of the cloud
I walk on thin old wire   past fears now aspire
I step forth resentment in the crowd

My transpersonal experience

I thought it would be appropriate to describe the spiritual experience I had this past month.  Analyze it as you will, distinguish among its many aspects, and be inspired by it.  Though words limit the experience, I will describe it to the best of my dissection.  This is my transcendental experience. 

I was in Seattle at the time, hanging out with my brother and my good friend Robin.  We were discussing a variety of things, including politics, spirituality and life in general.  As the night progressed, we decided to do a meditation and chakra healing/balance.  With music playing in the background, candles lit and the lights off, we began the meditation.  Focusing on the various chakras, we opened ourselves up to the possibility of transcendence. 

When we finished the meditation, I went over to the couch and sat there.  I soon began to feel nauseous.  I was doing whatever I could to control the feeling, but the feeling increased.  I decided to get up off the couch (I didn’t want to vomit all over my brother’s couch!) and headed to the sink.  As I bent over, the anxiety of the thought of throwing up and losing control was building.  My ego was holding on for its life.  And then, there was an explosion.  The best way to describe this moment was the big bang.  Tension built until there was a pop, and different realities were created and moved about in various ways.  Colors were enhanced, colors I find difficult to remember.  There were vibrations and images.  There was no longer the tension of the ego, no control, but an opening to all realms of the mind, of all creation.  I went over to the rug by the fireplace.  I did not want to stand with the intensity of the experience.

I completely dis-identified with my mind, my thoughts and all that I knew.  Everything was distinguishable but not distinguishable.  Everything was separate but also one.  Every thought that came to my head was not me but was me.  My neck had been hurting earlier before the experience.  I felt the pain, but I was not identified with it.  Therefore, I had no suffering.  I had completely dis-identified with my body.  Voices and whispers came out of me with no effort.  They were not English.  I could not interpret what I was saying.  Moans came out from the depth of my core.   In the middle of my visual, which was colorful and vibratory, in an image no bigger than an inch, was a vision of a meditating figure in a lotus flower position.  I could not see the face.  The image was stagnant, while everything else around it was moving.   I could not interpret the image.  All I knew was that this image was significant.

Painting by Alex Grey

Perhaps the greatest realization of the whole experience was the fact that nothing mattered.  I had no worry and no stress.  I had no identification.  My job, my relationships, my achievements, and my future: none of it mattered.  I had no concern for practical living.  Living, indeed, was in the now, in the experience itself.  I questioned reality.  I questioned life and death.  I could not separate the two.  I didn’t know if I was dreaming, sleeping or awake.  Time was twisted. 

I wondered if this was what is experienced at or near death. 

The experience revealed a truth.  The experience was real, because it layered off all the concepts and stories I had created about myself, all the experiences I had.  The layers of illusion were peeled off, floating, leaving my inner-self exposed.  The inner-self was my true nature.  It was not good or bad, for good and bad were outside of me.  This inner nature was all there was, all that was real.  It did not judge, control or seek acceptance.  It was the only authentic place where God could dwell.

A Call Out to Time

Song written in July 2012

This time will surely fade away

Every moment, every breath that is spent by day

No turning back, no replay of time

Unformed bliss  my heart shines

Born of ground, live and die

Back to earth forever abide

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

This is my only song

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

I hope it lasts long

Life of our fathers, do we recall?

Dreams of our mothers that were once held and kept so tall

Lasting legacy, is it for real?

Lasting legacy, why the appeal?

Around like wind  transcend all men

Strive eternal  end so thin

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

This is my only song

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

I hope it lasts long

Our children will live a segment of time

Through them we live and through them we die

Recalled for generations, maybe two maybe three

But soon we fade as time cease to be

Memories, silenced once loud

All is lost, the fall of the proud

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

This is my only song

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

I hope it lasts long

The thing that will last is so undefined 

The thing that will last will leave none behind

Forever it stays  forever with all

Times ending days  its one lasting call

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

This is my only song

Whoa now rushing water, time slow down

I hope it lasts long

Whisper Box

When I got my first teaching job in Rainier, Washington, I was excited about the prospect of the upcoming year.  Ideas were generating in my head, and with the help of my family, we designed an amazing classroom.  There were three units displayed throughout the room.  A rainforest theme in the reading area, a space theme in the presentation area, and an ocean theme where students first walked through the door.  The one creation I was really proud of, though, was the “Whisper Box.” 

The "Whisper Box" was designed with a shoebox and construction paper.  It was an idea I got from my mentor teacher during my student-teaching experience.  Years earlier, this teacher got the idea when he was teaching primary education.  Being sick of all the tattles the younger kids would tell, he designed a "Tattle Box," where students would go if they felt the need to tattle.  What a brilliant idea!  Not only did kids have fun with it, but soon they left him alone!  I knew I would implement this idea in my teaching somehow.  I was waiting for the right time. 

That time came with my first primary teaching job.  Always assuming I would be teaching the middle school age, being hired as a 1st/2nd grade teacher and then a Kindergarten teacher really had me dwelling on my inexperience with that age group.  Anticipating the possibility of crying and other young issues, I took my mentor teacher's idea and molded it.  Instead of just focusing on tattles, I expanded the idea to include any issue students may potentially have.  Students were told that whenever they had a problem or felt "bad," they could go over to the “Whisper Box,” whisper their problem into it, and their problem would go away.  How successful this was!  I watched as young kids would go over to the "Whisper Box" if someone or something bothered them, whisper into the box, smile, and run off and play again.  The students went from "feeling bad" to pure joy in just seconds.  As the year progressed, I asked the students, “What if you don’t have the ‘Whisper Box’ near you when you’re feeling sad?  What if you were out on the playground or at home?”  One kid, pondering, quickly answered.  “My parents said you can just send it to the ground.”  Wow!  What a realization.  Another student suggested that they could send it into the air.  Students were coming up with various ways to get rid of negative feelings.  Throughout the rest of the year they used these various ideas, and soon the "Whisper Box" just sat on the shelf. 

A kindergartener whispering into the "Whisper Box."

The “Whisper Box” became an alternative way of getting rid of concerns, a symbol.  Why is it that as adults we have such difficulty "letting go" of our concerns?  How is it that a child who is capable of getting upset any second can simply "let go" and change from sadness to joy?  Maybe this is why Jesus told us to observe children, the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.  When we go from childhood to adulthood, our minds develop in magical ways, and our analytical thinking increases.  Our ego becomes stronger, and our minds take center stage.  In our minds we create stories about certain facts, whether true stories or not.  When an event occurs, our ego makes a judgement, and our minds dwell on that thought.  We soon identify ourselves with our minds, believing the mind is who we are.  Our minds become primary, and the pathway to our inner self becomes blocked.  It takes years and years of unnecessary hardship and suffering for us to finally realize the distinction between our minds and that which observes the mind, our true self.  It takes the experience of darkness to finally "let go" and become one with our true self:  Love.  When the barriers are broken, when this passage is finally open, our lives will flourish with tremendous joy and endless possibilities.

Observing thoughts

Last year I subbed in a 5th grade classroom at my old elementary school.  After specialists, students came back into the classroom to work on math.  After I explained the directions and the papers were passed out, students began working on their own.  Most students were doing well.  There was a little bit of talking, but as a substitute teacher I found this a common thing.  Many students finished their papers before lunch.  There was this one small boy, however, who was struggling.  I first recognized this boy when I saw him under his desk, holding his knees and rolling back and forth on the floor.  His face expressed sadness and shame.  I thought, "What the heck is this?  Why in the world is this boy reacting this way?  He must be having some trouble back home."  One of the other students told me he did this all the time.  My curiosity got me, and I went over to the boy who was under the desk.  I said to him, "What's up?"  His response was, "I suck."  I asked him for clarity.  "You suck?  What do you mean, you suck?"  He said, "I just suck.  I'm stupid."  This boy was frustrated, his affective filter was high.  The math we were working on stumped him, and his frustration led to much unnecessary suffering.  It was interesting to observe how his thoughts took over his reality.  We do this often ourselves.  We identify ourselves with our minds, and when more difficult circumstances arise we experience intense negative symptoms and emotions.  Oftentimes, these emotions become overpowering and affect every aspect of our life, leading to darker symptoms of distress, depression and despair.  Our time and energy is spent trying to calm these emotions, when the positive emotions lie dormant, waiting for the opportunity to arise.  In a negative thinker, these opportunities are rare.

This was such a unique experience for me, because I saw a truth play outside of myself.  I too had experienced the illusion of identifying myself with my mind and thoughts, not too shortly before.  Seeing it play out in another person really strengthened this realization.  I recognized it in another person, and I felt compelled to respond.  As I continued to observe, I saw the student was still in the same position.  Finally, I got his attention and waved him over to my desk.  When he was right beside me, I began to tell him about distinguishing between the mind and his inner self.  I told him to do something.  "This is what I want you to do.  I want you to start observing your thoughts.  Start observing the voices in your head.  I want you to see that your thoughts are not you, but you are that which is observing your thoughts.  Will you do this?"  He shook his head and went back to his desk.  About five minutes later, the boy came back to my desk with a piece of paper in his hand and handed it to me.  I looked at the paper.  On it was pictures and words saying, "I hate myself."  "I'm stupid."  "I suck."  "I'm a loser."  I was amazed.  My first reaction was, "I hope no teacher walks in and sees this."  Then I realized what had just happened.  I told the boy to observe his thoughts, and he did.  He observed his thoughts, and wrote them down on a piece of paper.  The thoughts were negative, of course, but this was a major distinction the boy had to make.  The boys frustration seemed to leave him.  His face didn't express the same shame it had before.  He was more lively.  I smiled at him and he at me.  I told him to try the math again and continue to observe his thoughts throughout the day.  Before the period ended, I went over to the boy's desk and saw that he had done most of his work.  Wow!

By being the observer, one is able to go from a state of frustration to pure joy.

Taken while teaching in 2010-2011.

My new blog!

Hello blog readers!  Welcome to my new blog, where I will be posting about new ideas, experiences and visions.  You can visit my previous blog at rothwc.wordpress.com. 

Enjoy!


"To the mind that is still, the whole universe surrenders."  Lao Tzu

Initiating a P.E. activity for 5th grade students