Classroom management is always one of the more challenging aspects of being a grade school teacher. As I give lessons, I am often interrupted. Sometimes students ask me a random question or have a random comment when I’m in the middle of saying something (don’t you love when people do that!?). Other times it’s a student trying to get the attention of a friend. Every day I find myself constantly reinforcing social etiquette, and every day I remind students that there’s a time to listen and there’s a time to talk. Every year I tell my students:
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You ought to be listening twice as often as you speak, otherwise you won’t learn anything.
This saying was taken from a leadership conference I attended in 2016 in Orlando, FL. Listen first; above all intentions, when communicating with another seek to understand. Not only will you find yourself more influential, you'll also find great joy in learning about another person holistically. One starts to see that the world becomes a much bigger and diverse place, full of wonder and excitement, when one seeks to understand another exactly as they are without some pre-conceived judgment or expectation.
One of the biggest problems I’ve found in Christian thought is the destructive theology of original sin. Still held by many denominations today (but seeing a decline in numbers), in this
view Christians consciously and subconsciously view people as fallen, sinners needing redemption
and repentance. This includes newborns who have no life experience. It’s a belief that I grew up on. It’s a belief I held. It’s a belief I later found limiting and destructive to the soul, a “glass half empty” mindset.
Instead of seeing the good in people, the belief in original sin leads Christians to see the
bad in people first before they see them as blessed. This view has led to the slaughter of countless
individuals based on misunderstandings and/or different belief systems.
This is the view that has ultimately led to dualism, of separating oneself from another, and the dysfunction of human relationships.
An alternative Christian view is seeing all people as God’s unique
creations, each as an expression and an aspect of God. When this mindset replaces original sin, a major shift happens internally. Instead
of seeing another as fallen, one begins to see beauty in every person. Instead
of belittling people and seeing oneself as better or closer to God, one begins to build and encourage people in their own walk, even if it’s different than their own. Instead of
being driven by judgment, which Jesus clearly told us not to do, one is driven
by LOVE, which God is and was Jesus’
primary message. And yet we still judge anyway, believing it’s our right as Christians (or non-Christians),
and justifying our egoic beliefs through contradicting Bible verses.
It still takes years and years,
perhaps a lifetime, to retrain the subconscious mind.
Do not judge, or you too will be
judged.
For in the same way you judge
others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured
to you.
Why do you look at the speck of
sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own
eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’
when all the time there is plank in your own eye?
You hypocrite; first take the plank
out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from
your brother’s eye.”
Matthew 7:1-5
Why so many Christians don’t live this teaching of Jesus, whom
they say they follow with all their heart, I do not know. Even if one pridefully thinks they’ve taken the plank out of their own eye, there are still egoic blockages within the subconscious mind, planks that cannot be seen. We are human,
and until the day we die and totally lose our ego (thoughts and feelings), there will be planks
still tainting our perspective. This isn’t a teaching for just Christians (remember Jesus
didn’t teach Christians; he taught Jews). It’s a teaching for everyone. DO NOT JUDGE.
In contrast, there are countless authors in the New
Testament who talked about LOVE, something Jesus and his first followers over-emphasized. Reflect on the following:
Love never fails.
Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
Dear
friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No
one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his
love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit.
And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.
If
anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and
they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has
for us.
God is love.
Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them.
This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus.
There
is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to
do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
We love because he first loved us.
Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.
And
he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their
brother and sister.
1 John 4:7-21
“Teacher, which is the
greatest commandment in the Law?”
Jesus replied: “’Love
the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all yoru
mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love
your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two
commandments.”
Matthew 22:36-40
God is LOVE. And if Jesus is God (as Christians proclaim),
then Jesus’ is LOVE. And if Jesus is the Way, then LOVE IS THE WAY. LOVE is Jesus’ message.
What would happen if instead of fearing people we loved them?
What would happen if instead of seeing the worse in people we started seeing the best in people?
What would happen if we stopped viewing people as “sinners” and started viewing
them as God’s unique creations?
What would happen if we stopped identifying others by their inevitable mistakes and instead seek to understand others wholly and exactly as they are right now?
There is no person who is a mere sinner, nor is there one person who is a mere saint. We’re both saints and sinners. We have both successes
and faults. We have both strengths and weaknesses. When you catch
yourself glorifying one individual as a saint, remember that they are human and
have their own faults, even if you can’t see them. Likewise, when you catch
yourself judging an individual, remember that everybody is doing the best they can with the knowledge, resources, and
experiences they’ve had. Many people have less knowledge, fewer resources, and more
tragic experiences. Love them anyway.
I still find it strange how we focus primarily on Jesus as a
person and not the message he was trying to teach. As a teacher, I would find it very weird if a student told me after a lesson, “Mr. Rothwell, you’re the best
teacher. I don’t really know what you taught today really, but I think you’re really
cool.” A student that says this missed the whole lesson I was trying to teach! If Jesus were to see
people worshiping him but ignoring his teachings, I think he would call us out very quickly. Jesus didn't want to be worshiped; he had a message to deliver.
It’s time for a shift in human consciousness (especially Christians). It’s time for a spiritual revolution that emphasizes the teachings of Jesus, not doctrine. Original sin was not a teaching of Jesus. That doctrine was created much, much later, first thought by Augustine and later formalized in the 16th century Council of Trent and adopted by many protestant churches. LOVE was Jesus' primary teaching. If we call ourselves Christians, LOVE is THE WAY of Christ. If we don’t call ourselves Christians, LOVE is the way forward that will transform human relationships. We certainly need this mindset shift in the 21st century.
We are all unique creations of God. If we truly understand this, LOVE will come naturally.
Quotes:
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.
James 1:19
“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”
C.G. Jung
“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.”
Aldous Huxley
“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.”
Marvin J. Ashton
“Try to understand men. If you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and almost always leads to love.”
John Steinbeck
“No matter what happens in life, be nice to people. Being nice to people is a peaceful way to live, and a beautiful legacy to leave behind.”
Marc and Angel Chernoff
“You’ll always be disappointed when you expect people to act as you would.”
Unknown
“If you want understanding, try giving some.”
Malcolm Forbes
“If you wish to please people, you must begin by understanding them.”
Charles Reade
“What better way is there to make men love one another than to make men understand one another. True charity comes only with clarity- just as mercy is but justice that understands. Surely the root of all evil is the inability to see clearly that which is.”
Will Durant
“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.”
F.
Scott Fitzgerald
“Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.”
Chinese proverb
"To add value to others, one must first value others."
John C. Maxwell
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