Story
Ten years ago I was in a very dark place in my life. I was awfully depressed, and my depression only grew with every attempt of trying to rid of it. My thoughts were driven by pessimism, and emotions of sadness and regret ran my daily existence. I tried all avenues I knew to help alleviate my suffering. I first turned to my family and friends to support me emotionally. I experienced temporary relief only to go back into a deeper darkness. I then turned to the individual practices that helped me many times before: reading my Bible and praying regularly. As I would unfortunately discover, neither did much to quell my depression. I lived in a constant state of fear that my previous life of joy was gone and gloom was my new reality.
The depression eventually lifted, and I came out a transformed man. Until that happened, however, fear had its heavy grip on my life, and I was being held captive in my own self-created prison.
"Fear of God"?
A major driving force of my depression was a belief I had that all suffering that befalls an individual was the result of his or her sin. I had made big mistakes that resulted in my suffering, and I held strongly to the view that I was being punished for those mistakes. Guilt and shame dominated my mindset, and it only made my depression worse. I lived in constant fear of God, believing He was watching and judging my every step. I found evidence that justified this "godly fear" in the Scriptures. As I would come to experience, however, this fear only enlarged my suffering.
The fear of God is one of the more dangerous perceptions Christians carry with them on their daily walk today. Scripturally, this fear made God a contradiction. God's very nature is love, according to the Scriptures, and if perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18), then fear isn't necessary to know God. And yet, we're told to fear God over and over. Many Christians will explain this as a "Godly" fear, but that reasoning doesn't resolve the contradiction. Fear and love are the complete opposites. So, do we fear God or do we love God? Where did this understanding of fearing God even come from?
In the ancient world it was usual for people to fear their deities. Just look at the ancient Mayans or Aztecs in the Western Hemisphere, or look to the Old World of ancient Egypt, Mesopotamia, and Greece; there's a great deal of evidence showing that those cultures lived in perpetual fear of their gods and goddesses. Most ancient deities were personified with a mixed bag of human emotions. One year they would be happy and bless you and your family with a bountiful harvest. The next year they would be angry and initiate a famine in the land. The ancients believed calamity was the result of human wrongdoing that offended the gods. These cultures created specific sets of rules and guidelines aimed to stay on good terms with the gods. This is why sacrifice became commonplace.
This ancient mindset also applied to the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. From the Pentetauch to the prophets, the writers of the Old Testament reveal that Yahweh is a God to be feared. Throughout the Scriptures God is perceived as extremely disappointed by human actions and very hard to please. He not only required animal sacrifices to be made, but he occasionally required human sacrifice to be made to appease His anger. Abraham is the prime example of this, as he was led to sacrifice his own son (although I would argue it was to the Canaanite god Moloch). It is easy to see why the concept of sin originated in the ancient mindset.
For most of the world today, the concept of fearing the deities has gone away. This fear has found a loophole in modern Christianity, however, and still haunts it's adherents, even after Jesus exposed its systematic flaws and gave us an alternative understanding of God as love and forgiveness. In an attempt to modernize the concept, Pope Francis gave a description of what fearing God may actually mean:
The fear of the Lord, the gift of the Holy Spirit, doesn't mean being afraid of God, since we know God is our Father that always loves and forgives us. It is no servile fear, but rather a joyful awareness of God's grandeur and a grateful realization that only in Him do our hearts find true peace.
Before we can experience God as pure love and forgiveness, however, we must assess the very concept of fear, that which God is not.
Reactionary Fear vs. Residual Fear
There are two kinds of fears we must distinguish, because one fear is a natural human response to danger and the other leads to an unnecessary imbalance within ourselves. Reactionary fear is the oldest response mechanism we have and is shared with other animals. Reactionary fear enables one to respond quickly when detecting a potential threat. It's our internal alert system. It tells us that stepping on that viper could lead to a very unpleasant experience. It tells us that running out in the middle of a freeway is a bad idea. Reactionary fear is necessary for our survival. After a reactionary fear experience the initial adrenaline rush recedes, and our body, mind, and emotions go back to a state of equilibrium (homeostasis).
Residual fear, on the other hand, is specific to the human species. Unlike reactionary fear that’s experienced in the moment of present danger and then released, residual fear is fear that’s left over from a reactionary fear experience and is stored in the subconscious mind. This internalizes fear and sets the stage for future anxiety and unnecessary fear-driven responses. After entering the subconscious mind, residual fear attaches to the body and the emotions. At this point the conscious mind can think of something else, but the fear is internalized within the individual. This creates a major imbalance of mind-body-emotion. Without intervention, this imbalance will lead to the deterioration of a persons mental, physical, and emotional health and opens them to the possibility of sickness and disease.
Reactionary fear is necessary and a response to a real, potentially dangerous situation. Residual fear is unnecessary and an illusion.
As one acronym accurately depicts residual fear:
F - False
E- Evidence
A- Appearing
R- Real
Residual fear appears real to the one experiencing it. It’s powerful and seductive. It’s often more powerful than the initial reactionary fear experience. Why? Because the mind creates a more dramatic story around the stored fear. The same story replays over and over again of both the initial fear experience and the possibility of the same event happening in the future. The more the mind dwells on that created story, the more fear digs its claws into the soul and brings about needless suffering.
Surprisingly, fear can signal to us that an inner awakening is about to take place. As 20th century American professor Joseph Campbell said, “The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." Most people fear to enter that cave. It's dark, empty and has potential dangers. Yet, it also potentially holds great treasures and unlimited possibilities.
That cave is the great unknown.
Why does the unknown create so much fear and anxiety? Why do we avoid the unknown at all costs? Because the unknown can't be controlled. Fear drives the ego to maintain visibility, producing a wide range of thoughts and emotions that will enable it to stand out and survive in the cave. It doesn't want to lose sight of itself, so its only response is to speak loudly. The stronger the ego becomes, the more fear grows. But there is another alternative to fear when entering the cave; that alternative is faith.
Shifting from Fear to Faith in God
The image of faith has been restricted in many modern Christian circles to a mere belief that one has. For years I held strongly to the view that if you just mentally "believe" in Jesus as your Savior you will be saved from God's wrath. Faith was principally head-oriented, a "certainty" in the mind. But when traveling further down the Christian path one soon discovers that faith has a much deeper meaning. Belief falls exceptionally short when describing faith. What is the difference between belief and faith?
Belief focuses on the seen; faith focuses on the unseen.
Belief focuses on thought; faith focuses on the heart.
Belief looks for evidence; faith simply trusts.
Belief is driven by pride; faith is driven by love.
Belief can be conceptualized; faith cannot be boxed-in definitively.
Belief shines only in the light; faith grows in the darkness.
Belief is what you know; faith is trusting God in the unknown.
As one faith acronym describes:
F- Forsaking
A- All
I- I
T- Trust
H- Him
To grow your faith in the unknown, you must let go of control and let God lead you. You must clear room within yourself for God to work. God cannot work within you if you're congested with your own egoic fears. There is no need to fear. There is certainly no need to fear God, who loves and accepts you for exactly who you are. If you give all your fears over to Him and have faith in Him and His plan for your life, you will be led and transformed and come to know and love Him at a much deeper, spiritual level.
Personal Practice: The Route of Reformed Faith
Below is a practice that will help you transition from fear-based living to faith-based living. I encourage you to engage in it and discover the benefits for yourself. The first three steps are focused on self-awareness and necessary action addressing your fears. The next two steps are focused on letting go of your fears and letting God guide you through faith. The last step is an active rememberence of who you are. All six steps are a continuous process.
1. Reflect. In a journal, reflect on the following five questions:
What fears am I holding onto?
Which fear has the most impact on me?
How does this fear limit me?
What caused me to have this fear in the first place?
When does this fear usually show itself?
2. Recognize. Awareness is the key of enabling you to move beyond your fear. Acknowledge your fear when it comes up in your daily life. Call the fear out when it shows its face. By making the fear conscious, you've done the biggest work of loosening fear's grip on your life.
3. Respond. Act when necessary to those fears within your control. For example, if you are afraid of being in large groups, take the first action step and join a small group. If you fear for the safety of your child, take the necessary precautions. If you fear your spouse or loved one is upset with you, initiate a conversation with them and discuss the issue. This step is not easy, but it's necessary. Take action when appropriate so the fear is addressed right then and there and doesn't grow. When your fear is outside your control, however, move to the fourth step.
4. Release. What seems like the easiest step is maybe the most challenging: releasing all control to God. Your ego will fight you! Be aware of this. But keep this in mind: worrying about fears you cannot change leaves little room for faith. Release your fears to God. “Cast all your anxiety on Him for he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7). Let go of your fear and let God take the lead. The freedom gained with this step is astounding once experienced. A huge weight will be lifted off your shoulders and you open yourself to the possibility of God's revelation.
5. Rely. Repeat the FROG prayer :
Fully
Rely
On
God
This is the prayer of ultimate faith in the unknown. It requires no action on your part. All it requires is patience. Wait for God's guidance. He will lead you.
6. Remember. Remember who you are. You are a vessel of God, and He has a purpose for you. As God told the prophet Jeremiah, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.'" Meditate on these words daily.
Conclusion
During my battle with depression, there was a deeper truth I knew within myself. I knew there was a purpose in my suffering, even though I was unclear what it was. I knew that all things do “work together for the good of those who love God" (Romans 8:28). I couldn't see the master plan. Most of the time, I didn't even sense His Presence. Yet my faith grew in the darkness, and as it grew I began to let go of the former fears and trust God completely in my unfolding.
Fear and faith are two different responses to the unknown. The real question is: which do you feed?
Quotes:
"Fear is the lengthened shadow of ignorance."
Arnold Glasow
"Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world."
Ralph W. Emerson
"Fear is pain arising from the anticipation of evil."
Aristotle
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
Joseph Campbell
"Everything you want is on the other side of fear."
Jack Canfield
"The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown."
H.P. Lovecraft
"Feed your faith and your fears will starve to death."
Unknown
"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
1 John 4:18
"Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7
"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears."
Psalm 34:4
"Faith is a knowledge within the heart, beyond the reach of proof."
Khalil Gibran
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
Martin Luther King Jr.
"Faith is deliberate confidence in the character of God whose ways you may not understand at the time."
Oswald Chambers
"Fear is the glue that keeps you stuck. Faith is the solvent that sets you free."
Shannon L. Alder
"The more you go with the flow of life and surrender the outcome to God, and the less you seek constant clarity, the more you will find that fabulous things start to show up in your life."
Mandy Hale
"Pray, and let God worry."
Martin Luther
"It is presumptuous in me to wish to choose my path, because I cannot tell which path is best for me. I must leave it to the Lord, who knows me, to lead me by the path which is best for me, so that in all things His will may be done."
Teresa of Avila
"We have very little faith in the Lord, very little trust. If we trusted the Lord as much as we trust a friend when we ask him to do something for us, neither we as individuals nor our whole country would suffer so much."
Elder Thaddeus of Vitovrica
"One's suffering disappears when one lets oneself go, when one yields- even to sadness."
Antoine de Saint-Exupery
"There's nothing like suffering to remind us how not in control we actually are, how little power we ultimately have, and how much we ultimately need God."
Tullian Tchividjian
"Suffering is part of the human condition, and it comes to us all. The key is how we react to it, either turning away from God in anger and bitterness or growing closer to Him in trust and confidence."
Billy Graham
No comments:
Post a Comment