From Paradise to Presence: Shifting Focus to the Present Moment

My Story

Growing up in the evangelical church I always viewed the world through the lens of the rapture. Questions like, "When will Jesus return?", "Will I be raptured to heaven?", "Will my loved ones make it?" and "Who will be left behind?" dominated my thinking. It created in me a fear that I didn't witness in other people. 

Back then, the world really served no purpose to me, other than to give me an opportunity to witness to people, warning them to accept Jesus in their heart or miss the chance and suffer through the seven year tribulation and go to Hell for eternity (unless of course you get guillotined as a martyr- then you'd go to Heaven!). I also feared for myself in every moment, that if I didn't ask God to forgive me right then and there of any sins I committed since my last confession that I was in danger of being left behind and could face God's judgment and tribulation as all the other sinners which I distanced myself from. I had no real inner peace. I was led by fear.

As we transitioned into the new millenium, there was constant talk in the media and my circle of family and friends that the world was going to end. My cousin and I found this very exciting. We used to talk about the second coming everyday. We saw the world was going to hell and we put all our attention and focus on the rapture. We anxiously awaited for Jesus' return, mentally and emotionally preparing ourselves so we were stainless in the eyes of God in that very moment of rapture. I remember when the new year hit nothing happened, and quite frankly, we were a little bummed. Maybe it was because our expectations were not met. Maybe it was because we wanted to see what rewards we were going to get in heaven in our attempts to "win souls for Christ". Or maybe it was because we hadn't quite escaped the pain of death. 

My grandpa believed he wasn't going to die and was going to be raptured, as have countless Christians before and after him. People lived and people died, many believing they wouldn’t. Yet, the world remained, as it has for 4.5 billion years.

It took many years to free myself from what I came to discover was a fear-driven mindset. It had nothing to do with God and everything to do with saving myself from God's wrath. I see how selfish I was now.

A Shift from Afterlife Living to Present-Moment Living

The concept of an afterlife has been on the human mind since the development of the frontal lobe and saw notable growth with the rise of civilization. As humans, we all desire to live a long life and wonder what will happen after we die. I personally believe there's life after death, although I can't say what that looks like. There are multiple perspectives on the afterlife, many of them based on personal near-death experiences. With so many differing stories it's tough to tell which one is correct. Perhaps they all are. We won't actually know the truth until we die and experience it for ourselves. 

This for many Christians is unacceptable. The unknown creates too much anxiety. The unknown brings forth an inner fear that many feel needs to be buried and ignored. The guarantee of an afterlife is an absolute non-negotiable for the majority of Christians, who over a period of 2000 years developed a theology that assured them that the afterlife is guaranteed and going to be way better than the present life, at least for Christians. To them, focusing on heaven was more important than stewarding the world. Mystery was not a value, and in fact was seen as a problem.

Perhaps this is where the problem lies. By focusing primarily on the afterlife one begins to adopt a detached view of this world. According to most Christians, this world is not our real home. This is Satan's world. There’s no need to put much attention here. One can justly say this eschatology is the lead cause of the world's present state. Please reflect on this: if you are wrong about Jesus coming back within your lifetime, and you don’t even attempt to better this world now, your kids, grandkids, and descendants will inherit that same world you neglected. You could have done something about it, but you didn’t. That will be your legacy.

There is a minority of Christians, though, who see the world in a totally different light. To these Christians, Jesus didn't come into the world to condemn the world but to save it through him (John 3:17). Former pastor and author Brian Mclaren once brilliantly said, "The gospel is not an evacuation plan for heaven. It's a transformation plan." Wow! 

Jesus didn't come to save us from the inevitable torment from a pissed-off God. (most ancient cultures had this relationship with their gods and goddesses). Jesus presented a radically different view of God. 

Jesus was a healer; he restored life.

Jesus was a teacher; he taught the way of Gods love.

Jesus cared for others; he would dine with people seen as inferior.

Jesus was a prophet; he could see the wrongs of the world and the wrongs of religion.

Jesus was a mystic; he had a unique relationship with God that made him a light to many. 

Jesus came to transform this world and bring heaven to earth. Jesus brought the world a new divine consciousness (the Holy Spirit) that can be tapped into and experienced at anytime and anyplace, even right here, right now. By embracing this worldview, you will see the world in a totally different light. You will see beauty where others cant. You’ll see God everywhere. The earth does not belong to Satan anymore. It belongs to God.

Franciscan friar Richard Rohr described how many Christians’ worldview starts with Genesis 3: the fall. When a Christian starts viewing the world through the lens of Genesis 1 and 2, however, a different worldview begins to unfold. One starts to see God in all things, in all of creation. One can see the internal fingerprints of God in a bird, in a worm, in a tree, even in a rock. One will begin to see God within not only the joys and good times but also within the sufferings and bad times, perhaps. The world suddenly becomes enchanted. In Genesis 1 God declared the world is good six times, and in verse 31 God declared "it was very good". Everything in the Garden of Eden was acceptable. Subsequently in chapter 2, God made the seventh day a day of rest and appreciation of His creation. Every time we stand in awe of the beauty of world we are resting in the Sabbath, appreciating the world as God does. Then man was created to steward God's "good" earth.

This world is a physical expression of God, every animal, plant, fungus, and non-living thing. So much diversity, so much beauty! Even in us humans, where the divine spark is most often suppressed, there is abundant beauty. Theres beauty at the core of your being. Theres beauty in your differences. There's beauty in the diversity of human expression. There's beauty in the diversity of religions, appearances, and cultures. There's no two humans that are the same. There will never be another YOU. How magnificant is that?

Then comes Genesis 3. As the story goes, the serpent manipulated man to see himself as higher than all things, including God, and as a result sin entered the world. The fall was a result of man's pride, believing his intelligence, his beliefs, his emotions, and his life was above all else. The root cause of all sin is man's pride, not his nature. As man's pride took over his consciousness, man lost touch with his Creator and His creation, and in essence, lost touch with the divine spark that was within himself. Pride became the mask, and the ego the identity. Man fell further from God when man decided God was found in temples and books; man lost the ability to see God in all things. 

Pride is the sin that leads to all other sins. As C.S. Lewis states in Mere Christianity, "Pride is the complete anti-God state of mind." Pride arises out of the human ego, the thoughts, emotions, and beliefs which form a person's identity. Once a person begins to see themselves as this identity, they lose touch with their divine nature. They lose touch with creation. They lose touch with God. And as living and breathing humans, pride continues to bang on the door of our consciousness.

But pride can be checked. How? By living presently. By focusing on the present moment, no longer are your thoughts, emotions and beliefs in the drivers seat. Your consciousness is, and God is much closer to you than you realize. Conscious-awareness is the doorway to a major transformation.

Seven Personal Benefits of a Shift to Present-Moment Living

By shifting your focus to the present moment, several benefits will begin to emerge in your life as they did mine:

1.  If you live presently, you will value the earth and all its inhabitants.

We are extremely blessed to live here. So far, earth is the only verified planet that has life. All life is here for a segment of time, to live, to breath, to express, to create. There's so much diversity of life on this planet! By being present, we return to God's original intention of the Sabbath. We appreciate all life on this earth wherever and whenever we can. By being present, we are also called to better take care of this earth.

2.  If you live presently, you will create deeper and more meaningful relationships.

As a father, I absolutely love to spend time with my two daughters. However, I often find my mind wandering elsewhere or I’m multitasking and my attention is off the girls. They can sense this, and they’ll then try to get my attention another way: by being naughty. Every single time! These moments make me immediately realize I’m not being present with the girls. What a difference presence makes. With presence you start to value every moment you have with your loved ones. By being present you're free to love them and accept them for exactly who they are, not for who you think they should be. 

3.  If you live presently, past pain and future anxiety disappear.

This one I came to experience myself after four long months of depression. I tried everything to relieve my suffering but nothing worked. Then one day I decided to focus consciously on my step. As I took a single step I focused merely on that step, nothing else. When I did this all the grey that I was living day to day disappeared momentarily, the most relief I had in months. I continued to take a few more steps and again my depression lifted briefly. Over time my focus on the present moment grew, and my depression went away.

4.  If you live presently, you will manifest the fruits of the Spirit. 

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23) can all be experienced right here, right now. You don’t have to wait to experience the fruits in the afterlife. Experience them now by being present. Experiment for yourself. Your life will cease to bring forth the Spirit’s fruit if you put change into the future.

5.  If you live presently, you will experience healing.

My great-grandma Anna was known as a healer. There were many stories I heard growing up of when she prayed over someone or some animal, a healing miracle took place. One time Anna had a cow that got a potato caught in its throat, eventually losing oxygen and falling over onto the ground. Anna went over to the cow and prayed, "By the name of Jesus, potato go down!" The potato went down, the cow got back up, and went off grazing. How did this happen? Anna declared in the moment. She didn't say, "God, if you can heal my cow, I would really appreciate that." She didn't say, "Well, the cow had it coming. She should've chewed her food better!" No! She declared in that very moment. By being present then and there, God was able to use her to heal. Presence has this awesome authority.

6.  If you live presently, your life calling is clearer and you can see it being fulfilled moment by moment.

Ecclesiates 9:10 says, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom." 

You weren't put here on this earth to waste your life away and just go to Heaven. You have a unique calling. You weren't put here to be like everybody else, to think like everybody else, to feel like everybody else, to believe like everybody else. You are a unique creation of God, full of strengths, passions, dreams, ideas, and insights that are directly tied to your calling, a sort of hardwiring from the direct hand of God. Embrace it with all your might! Not only will you be aligned with your truest nature; others will reap the benefits as well. You are a necessary part of the "Body” of God.

7.  If you live presently, you will discover God.

God cannot be put in a box. God is not bounded by thought, belief or written word. All fall short of describing God. God is not bounded by space or time, and God doesn't need space or time to be experienced. The present moment transcends both space and time. The present moment is, just as God Is. When Moses asked God in the burning bush who was speaking (Exodus 3), God replied, "I Am that I Am." God didn't say "I was” or “I will be." We use the word presence for a reason when describing the Spirit of God. You don't have to wait for the afterlife to experience God. You can experience God here and now. 

Conclusion

All of us have lost loved ones and want to see them again someday. I believe we will. Perhaps they're even amongst us in some mysterious way. Regardless, this shouldn’t take from your present life. 

You can believe in an afterlife and not be driven by it. You can be prepared for Jesus' return (literal or symbolic) and still live presently every day, every hour, every minute, every second. We must be prepared for anything and ready to adjust in every given moment, but never should we be driven by fear. That is not the consciousness of God. Love is. You don’t have to wait to go to heaven to experience God’s Love. You can experience Love HERE AND NOW.

Spiritual Practice

Contemplation: I describe "contemplation" as a way to become aware of God right here and right now. It doesn't matter where you are. You can get started anywhere!

In Hebrew, the word "ruach" means breath, wind or life force and the Greek equivalent "pneuma" means breath or spirit. Essentially, spirit and breath are the same thing, according to Biblical Hebrew and Greek. When God breathed into Adam He gave him His Spirit. As you give your last breath, you give your spirit back to God.

Focus on your breath. Do this for 5 minutes. If your mind starts to wander (and it will), bring your focus back to your breath. This is your spirit. This is your connection to God. This is where the Holy Spirit dwells. This is where revelation happens. Expand and start to see the outside world, and if you decide to move, focus on every action you do in the moment, whether it's taking a step, brushing your teeth, or petting an animal. Do this everyday, whenever you can. As your practice grows, so will your awareness. As your awareness grows, the benefits will reveal themselves in your life.

You may also want to go on a nature walk. The Japanese call this shinrin-yoku or forest bathing. See the new sights. Smell the unique smells. Touch the plants and the ground. Taste the edibles when possible. Listen to each unique sound. Appreciate everything. 

Reflection Questions:

1.  What benefits am I gaining by focusing on the afterlife?

2.  How can I get these same benefits while living presently?

3.  What benefits could there be if I shift my focus to the present moment?

4.  How can I be more present in my life?

 

Quotes:

“Stop acting as if life is a rehearsal. Live this day as if it were your last. The past is over and gone. The future is not guaranteed.” 

Wayne Dyer

“Live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find eternity in each moment.”

Henry David Thoreau

“If you are depressed, you are living in the past; if you are anxious, you are living in the future; if you are at peace, you are living in the present.” 

Lao Tzu

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in tne moment, live in the breath.” 

Amit Ray

“Do not dwell on the past; do not dream of the future; concentrate the mind on the present moment.” 

Buddha

“Eternity belongs to those who live in the present.” 

Ludwig Wittgenstein

“The only thing that is ultimately real about your journey is the step you are taking at this moment. That’s all there ever is.” 

Eckhart Tolle

“The great science to live happily is to to live in the present.” 

Pythagoras

“Learn from the past, prepare for the future, live in the present.” 

Thomas Monson

“That is why those who are not capable of being there in the present moment, they don’t really live their life- they live like dead people.” 

Thich Nhat Hanh

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” 

Omar Khayyam

“If you think your afterlife will be better than your current life, you’re not really living. You’re just waiting to die.” 

Unknown

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” 

Matthew 6:34

From Original Sinner to Unique Creation: How We View Ourselves

Classroom management is always one of the more challenging aspects of being a grade school teacher. As I give lessons, I am often interrupted. Sometimes students ask me a random question or have a random comment when I’m in the middle of saying something (don’t you love when people do that!?). Other times it’s a student trying to get the attention of a friend. Every day I find myself constantly reinforcing social etiquette, and every day I remind students that there’s a time to listen and there’s a time to talk. Every year I tell my students:

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason. You ought to be listening twice as often as you speak, otherwise you won’t learn anything.

This saying was taken from a leadership conference I attended in 2016 in Orlando, FL. Listen first; above all intentions, when communicating with another seek to understand. Not only will you find yourself more influential, you'll also find great joy in learning about another person holistically. One starts to see that the world becomes a much bigger and diverse place, full of wonder and excitement, when one seeks to understand another exactly as they are without some pre-conceived judgment or expectation. 

One of the biggest problems I’ve found in Christian thought is the destructive theology of original sin. Still held by many denominations today (but seeing a decline in numbers), in this view Christians consciously and subconsciously view people as fallen, sinners needing redemption and repentance. This includes newborns who have no life experience. It’s a belief that I grew up on. It’s a belief I held. It’s a belief I later found limiting and destructive to the soul, a “glass half empty” mindset. Instead of seeing the good in people, the belief in original sin leads Christians to see the bad in people first before they see them as blessed. This view has led to the slaughter of countless individuals based on misunderstandings and/or different belief systems. This is the view that has ultimately led to dualism, of separating oneself from another, and the dysfunction of human relationships.

An alternative Christian view is seeing all people as God’s unique creations, each as an expression and an aspect of God. When this mindset replaces original sin, a major shift happens internally. Instead of seeing another as fallen, one begins to see beauty in every person. Instead of belittling people and seeing oneself as better or closer to God, one begins to build and encourage people in their own walk, even if it’s different than their own. Instead of being driven by judgment, which Jesus clearly told us not to do, one is driven by LOVE, which God is and was Jesus’ primary message. And yet we still judge anyway, believing it’s our right as Christians (or non-Christians), and justifying our egoic beliefs through contradicting Bible verses.

It still takes years and years, perhaps a lifetime, to retrain the subconscious mind.

Do not judge, or you too will be judged.

For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is plank in your own eye?

You hypocrite; first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”

Matthew 7:1-5 

Why so many Christians don’t live this teaching of Jesus, whom they say they follow with all their heart, I do not know. Even if one pridefully thinks they’ve taken the plank out of their own eye, there are still  egoic blockages within the subconscious mind, planks that cannot be seen. We are human, and until the day we die and totally lose our ego (thoughts and feelings), there will be planks still tainting our perspective. This isn’t a teaching for just Christians (remember Jesus didn’t teach Christians; he taught Jews). It’s a teaching for everyone. DO NOT JUDGE.

In contrast, there are countless authors in the New Testament who talked about LOVE, something Jesus and his first followers over-emphasized. Reflect on the following:

If I speak in the tongues^[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 

If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,^[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails. 

But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 

For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 

For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. 

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. 

And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 

If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. 

Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. 

This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. 

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. 

Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. 

And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

1 John 4:7-21

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

Jesus replied: “’Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all yoru mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”

Matthew 22:36-40

God is LOVE. And if Jesus is God (as Christians proclaim), then Jesus’ is LOVE. And if Jesus is the Way, then LOVE IS THE WAY. LOVE is Jesus’ message.

What would happen if instead of fearing people we loved them? 

What would happen if instead of seeing the worse in people we started seeing the best in people? 

What would happen if we stopped viewing people as “sinners” and started viewing them as God’s unique creations?

What would happen if we stopped identifying others by their inevitable mistakes and instead seek to understand others wholly and exactly as they are right now?

There is no person who is a mere sinner, nor is there one person who is a mere saint. We’re both saints and sinners. We have both successes and faults. We have both strengths and weaknesses. When you catch yourself glorifying one individual as a saint, remember that they are human and have their own faults, even if you can’t see them. Likewise, when you catch yourself judging an individual, remember that everybody is doing the best they can with the knowledge, resources, and experiences they’ve had. Many people have less knowledge, fewer resources, and more tragic experiences. Love them anyway.

I still find it strange how we focus primarily on Jesus as a person and not the message he was trying to teach. As a teacher, I would find it very weird if a student told me after a lesson, “Mr. Rothwell, you’re the best teacher. I don’t really know what you taught today really, but I think you’re really cool.” A student that says this missed the whole lesson I was trying to teach! If Jesus were to see people worshiping him but ignoring his teachings, I think he would call us out very quickly. Jesus didn't want to be worshiped; he had a message to deliver.

It’s time for a shift in human consciousness (especially Christians). It’s time for a spiritual revolution that emphasizes the teachings of Jesus, not doctrine. Original sin was not a teaching of Jesus. That doctrine was created much, much later, first thought by Augustine and later formalized in the 16th century Council of Trent and adopted by many protestant churches. LOVE was Jesus' primary teaching. If we call ourselves Christians, LOVE is THE WAY of Christ. If we don’t call ourselves Christians, LOVE is the way forward that will transform human relationships. We certainly need this mindset shift in the 21st century. 

We are all unique creations of God. If we truly understand this, LOVE will come naturally.

Quotes:

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry. 

James 1:19

“Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

C.G. Jung

“There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” 

Aldous Huxley

“Be the one who nurtures and builds. Be the one who has an understanding and a forgiving heart one who looks for the best in people. Leave people better than you found them.” 

Marvin J. Ashton

“Try to understand men. If you understand each other you will be kind to each other. Knowing a man well never leads to hate and almost always leads to love.” 

John Steinbeck

“No matter what happens in life, be nice to people. Being nice to people is a peaceful way to live, and a beautiful legacy to leave behind.” 

Marc and Angel Chernoff

“You’ll always be disappointed when you expect people to act as you would.” 

Unknown

“If you want understanding, try giving some.” 

Malcolm Forbes

“If you wish to please people, you must begin by understanding them.” 

Charles Reade

“What better way is there to make men love one another than to make men understand one another. True charity comes only with clarity- just as mercy is but justice that understands. Surely the root of all evil is the inability to see clearly that which is.” 

Will Durant

“Whenever you feel like criticizing any one…just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the advantages that you’ve had.” 

F. Scott Fitzgerald

“Be not disturbed at being misunderstood; be disturbed rather at not being understanding.”

 Chinese proverb

"To add value to others, one must first value others." 

John C. Maxwell

Let Love Be Your Operating System

There is no holier side in politics. I've been both conservative and liberal over the years, voted for individuals on both sides, and rode along both emotional bandwagons. Luckily, nowadays I have been able to detach from the never-ending political drama and see the game objectively.

In 2020 it's becoming more and more clear the dysfunction of the two-party political system. Two sides are attacking each other profusely over a wide range of issues, riling up the masses, and creating two massive political gangs ready to rip each other apart. No matter what ideas the other side proposes, the other side will automatically shut it down. Both sides are eager to convert people, and if there is any indication that an individual doesn’t align politically, that individual is seen as aiding the enemy. What's scarier is that these are the two collective forces running our country and making decisions that affect all of us personally.

This is the most toxic I've seen American relationships in the last twenty years. Many people would agree. It's beyond party politics to stop the dysfunction at this point. It’s a much deeper issue. It’s a culture war, and neither side has the power to eradicate the other. The hostility has been brewing for years, and little has been done to change the collective conversation away from hatred and division. Blame, chaos, anarchy, racism and civilian unrest are rising and media outlets are doing nothing more than encouraging the drama.

This was self-created, America. Oh how we took our lives for granted! 

What has caused this massive culture war?

EGO: The Driving Force of the American Dualistic Culture War 

Richard Rohr, a Franciscan monk who founded the Center for Action and Contemplation, said the following:

"Everything has to be understood in opposition to something else. For some dang reason, the ego prefers to make one side better than the other, so we choose. And we decide males are better than females, America is better than Canada, Democrats are better than Republicans. And for most people, once this decision is made, it is amazing the amount of blindness they become capable of. They really don't see what's right in front of them. Once you see this, it's an amazing breakthrough, and that is the starting place for moving away from dualistic thinking."

Dualism is the division of something into two opposing or contrasting aspects. A defining feature of the EGO, dualism is driving the American culture war. 

"My way is better than your way."

"My beliefs are right. Your beliefs are wrong." 

"It's either us or them."

Both sides of our two-party system are driven by this dualism. There are strong feeling of superiority on both sides. One side is considered wiser and smarter than the other, one side holier and better. There’s no backing down or collaboration. Both sides can't stand each other. 

Dualism separates self from other. 

The symptoms of dualism: competition, war, hatred, dysfunction, sorrow, dejection, destruction, and closed-mindedness, opposite of community, peace, understanding, order, joy, happiness, encouragement and open-mindedness. Why be it so difficult to discern which destroys and which grows the soul?

The EGO (individual and collective) has driven human behavior since the rise of civilization, unlike our hunter-gatherer days, where we spent 90% of our existence, where community and connection to all things was most important. The EGO has created endless wars and massive destruction. It has separated humans from all other living beings and one human being from another. No animal, plant or fungi has the pride and the same driving force to eradicate its own kind.  If you and your actions produce the fruit of dualism, the EGO is your operating system. EGO is in control.

Perhaps there's another operating system we can emulate. 

Love: A Different Operating System

Mother Teresa, the Albanian-Indian nun and missionary, once said,  "The greatest disease in the West today is not TB or leprosy; it is being unwanted, unloved, and uncared for. We can cure physical diseases with medicine, but the only cure for loneliness, despair, and hopelessness is love. There are many in the world who are dying for a piece of bread but there are many more dying for a little love. The poverty in the West is a different kind of poverty- it is not only a poverty of loneliness but also of spirituality. There's a hunger for love, as there is a hunger for God." 

If you wish to “be the change you wish to see in the world”, LOVE first. 

LOVE is the energy from which we all came. LOVE was our first energy. LOVE is at the core of our very being. 

Young human beings can’t survive without the love and care of another. LOVE drove our earliest hunter-gatherer ancestors to form the first nomadic communities. Love was the human operating system for 90% of our species’ history. 

Then the Agricultural Revolution happened. Being able to grow our own food, our ancestors started to settle in one spot. Soon claims of land ownership led to social inequality. Whoever had the most fertile land became rich. Those who didn’t became poor and relied on the rich for survival. The human population boomed. Cities rose. War became common. LOVE became secondary.

It’s time for a shift in consciousness. 

You, your innermost consciousness, are already connected to LOVE. If you want to change the world the first thing you must do is allow LOVE to flow from within you. This means loving yourself. Only by loving yourself will you know how to love another. Once you love yourself you will know beauty. Once you love yourself you will know peace. From within to without; whatever you are radiates into the world. 

LOVE is connection to another, not division. LOVE is building one another up, not tearing another down. LOVE is understanding. LOVE casts out all fear. LOVE is God.

As Dr. Wayne Dyer teaches, "If you have a choice between being right and being kind, choose kind." How would news reports, Facebook posts and responses look different today if LOVE drove consciousness? 

Go beneath all the bullshit you read and hear on the news and social media, and find that which connects you to your fellow human brother and sister instead. 

Dr. Martin Luther King said it best:

The ultimate weakness of violence is that it is a descending spiral begetting the very thing it seeks to destroy, instead of diminishing evil, it multiplies it. 

Through violence you may murder the liar, but you cannot murder the lie, nor establish the truth. 

Through violence you may murder the hater, but you do not murder hate. 

In fact, violence merely increases hate. 

Returning violence for violence multiplies violence, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. 

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

LOVE should be promoted in all houses of worship. LOVE should be promoted in all schools, colleges and workplaces. LOVE should be promoted in every family home. LOVE should be promoted in the military. LOVE should be promoted by every individual if we truly are looking for change.

It's time to focus on the welfare of every individual, not one particular group over another. Go beneath skin color and the various histories, socioeconomic statuses and religions. These are manmade institutions. Connect on a deeper level. 

This does not mean we shouldn't be involved with politics. Take action! What's happening right now is needed. We do need systematic change, based on millenniums of EGO-driven collective thinking and action. But it starts with your inner transformation, of loving yourself first and seeing a transformation from EGO-driven consciousness to LOVE-driven consciousness. Resemble the lives of the protesting greats like MLK and Gandhi.

What can you do to make a difference? LOVE. It's that simple.

To all my fellow humans beings: may LOVE be your operating system and driving force as you embark on your life journey to positively change the world. 

ONE LOVE.

Quotes:

"You can't heal people you love. You can't make choices for them. You can't rescue them. You can promise that they won't journey alone. You can loan them your map. But this trip is theirs." 

Laura J. Truman

"A mind open to alternative perceptions is a mind aligned with love." 

Unknown

"If you don't go through life with an open mind, you will find a lot of closed doors." 

Mark W. Perrett

"If only closed minds came with closed mouths." 

Unknown

"The best political, social, and spiritual work we can do is to withdraw the projection of our shadow onto others." 

C.G. Jung

"One wonders how far spiritual and political leaders can genuinely lead us without some degree of mystical seeing and action." 

Richard Rohr

"Hypocrisy is the audacity to preach integrity from a den of corruption." 

Wes Fesler

"Open-minded people don't care to be right, they care to understand. There's never a right or wrong answer. Everything is about understanding." 

Unknown

Never allow politics to become your spiritual food because, at the end of the day, our lives have far greater meaning." 

Ben Carson

"Compassion is the radicalism of our time." 

The Dalai Lama

"Open-minded people embrace being wrong, are free of illusions, don't mind what people think of them, and question everything, even themselves." 

Unknown

I was told to challenge every spiritual teacher, every world leader to utter the one sentence that no religion, no political party, and no nation on the face of the earth will dare utter: "Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.'" 

Neale Donald Walsch

The Victim Mentality: A Mindset of Blame

Over ten years ago I suffered from depression. I hadn’t encountered the monster much in the first 23 years of my life, if anything an occasional standoff. This time around it found me and attached its heavy body onto me, weighing me down into a darkness I had never experienced before. I am a very hopeful person, believing “all things work together for the good”. During my depression, these words did little to comfort me. They didn't connect. Words held little value. I struggled with the darkness for nearly four months. No friend, no family member, no church or organization, no government, no work, no book relieved me from my suffering  I first blamed others for my struggle. I then blamed the church for not providing me the necessary tools to battle such a destructive monster. Finally I blamed myself, burying me in a dark guilt and shame. Others saw my struggle and wanted to help. They couldn’t, even those with the best intentions and self-proven strategies. Nothing worked in my favor. I was the victim of my never-ending circumstance. 

This victim mindset became quite comfortable, though I knew it wasn't healthy. I much rather would have basked in my victim mindset than make a change. Change required entering into the unknown, a place that led me into my depression in the first place. Why would I want to enter that place again? At least my victim mindset was familiar and I knew what it would bring, even if it was a deeper depression. My dependence grew on something outside myself to change before I was to heal inside myself. I was expecting someone or something to “save me”.

Oh what heaviness I was in and couldn't escape.

What seemed to be a selfless act of self-denial turned out to be a very selfish one. I brought others down with me. I made others feel powerless around me. Most tragically, I threw away all the motivation I possessed to change myself. It took me four months to become aware of the addiction to my victim mindset, which buried me deeper and deeper. As soon as I became aware of the victim mindset I was holding, I started to rise out of the ashes. When I stopped feeling sorry for myself, my eyes opened to heaven. The world suddenly became much, much brighter.

The dark night of the soul leads one to the light if the victim mindset is LET-GO of.

One of my passions as a teacher is not to just teach students content but to empower them. I believe this is extremely important at the middle school level, where students are going through the greatest emotional, physical, mental, social and spiritual changes of their lives. I feel this is the age group that needs the most direction in self-love and self-empowerment. Sadly, many students coming into my classroom live in the victim mindset. When an issue arises, it’s common for middle school students to deny personal responsibility and make excuses for their behavior and blame others for their struggles. In their heads, they tell themselves they are the victims of their circumstances, perhaps “inherited”, or that they were wronged somehow. What’s fascinating is that over the course of a year I've witnessed students evolve from this victim-mindset to a growth-mindset that focuses on using obstacles to their advantage, as is the case of individuals like Albert Einstein, JK Rowling, Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, Thomas Edison and Frederick Douglass. Middle schoolers aren’t the only ones who struggle with this victim mentality.

What a toxic environment we are all experiencing in 2020. It’s election season, and tensions are high (which is typical of election years) as party politics dominate the collective conversation. This year I’ve seen family members and friends take political sides, pointing the finger at the opposing side for the country’s current problems and building hatred towards one another. Add the fear of COVID-19 and you have people falling prey to victim mindsets everywhere. What's worse, we rely on modern media for truth and wisdom, to tell us what's reality and where our focus should be. Media has shown to stir peoples emotions up so much that they feel threatened by if not wronged by others who don't hold the same values as themselves. People begin to innately believe one side is good and the other side is bad, embracing one viewpoint and despising the other. Yet we long to live in a world of tolerance and peace, love and unity. Many of us follow these media outlets blindly without much introspection of our own internal games and mindsets. It seems we haven’t grown very much from a middle-school mentality after all. 

As Mahatma Gandhi, the Indian leader who endured the trenches of struggle himself, once said, “Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” 

Shit happens, and it sucks. Nobody deserves such tragedies. Don’t let this identify you. Grieve as you must, but don’t dwell on how you were wronged lest you want to create continuous suffering for yourself and for others. I once heard a saying at a conference that life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it. It may have been something that happened decades or centuries ago. As its replayed in the mind its relived over and over again as if it just happened, picking away a healing wound and bringing forth fresh blood. People addicted to the victim mindset can even feel pleasure when he or she receives attention or pity as a result of his or her past misfortune. I experienced this myself. I began to see how highly addictive and highly toxic to my soul the victim mindset is.

What good does blaming others create? What benefits are there to pointing the finger at others and ignoring your own internal struggles? What good does feeling sorry for yourself or for others manifest? All are temporary reliefs from a deeper, internal issue that’s poisoning your mind, body, and soul that will eventually bear its ugly head in your life. 

We must find value in every soul, that they are doing the best they can with the circumstances presented to them. Self-love needs to be promoted first and foremost, then this same love will carry out to others and to the planet. The victim mentality does little to empower people to make positive changes in their lives. Instead, the victim mentality blinds the individual from self-reflection, inner-transformation and societal progress. It creates a needy soul, dependent on others to fix your problems and blames others when new problems arise. Is this the mindset you want driving your life? Instead of playing the victim card, perhaps we need to take a different approach to bring about change. Perhaps we need to look within.

All change starts within the individual and expands to the collective, not the other way around. If you have a desire to help those most in need, it must start with your own inner awareness and transformation. Are you willing to fully embrace the unknown, going beyond your own ego to connect to others and bring about positive change? 

8 Strategies and Questions to Contemplate and Rid the Victim Mentality:

1.  Identify your own victim mentality. When do you start to feel sorry for yourself? 

2.  Take responsibility for your own actions. Are you depending on others or organizations or movements to bail you out?

3.  Stop blaming others for your circumstances. How would your life and the lives of others look if you loved others unconditionally?

4.  Stop feeling sorry for yourself or others. How are pity and love different? Which one is more effective?

5.  Drop GROUP identification and value yourself as an INDIVIDUAL. What makes YOU unique? How are you different than your profession, family, political affiliation, religion, race, ethnicity, gender? How are you a unique expression of God?

6.  Avoid labeling others. Do you need to label others to feel unique?

7.  Follow the GROW method. What is your main GOAL? What obstacles are holding you in your current REALITY? What OPTIONS do you have to move forward? Out of the options, which option will you take as your WAY FORWARD? 

8.  Focus on love. What is love? Am I loving myself and others by feeling sorry for myself?

If LOVE be your end goal, let LOVE drive you and vibrate from you and be your primary route of change.

Quotes:

“No one saves us but ourselves. No one can and no one may. We ourselves must walk the path.” 

Buddha

“A victim mentality is a prolonged form of suicide.” 

Steve Maraboli

“Those with a perpetual victim mindset tend to create the situations from which they suffer.” \

Steve Maraboli

“Nobody can hurt me without my permission.” 

Mahatma Gandhi.

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” 

Wayne Dyer