Everything is spiritual

For years I’ve come to believe that I’m a spiritual person.  I believed I had something special to offer, something unique and profound.  I believed I was rare, one of only a few that was actually interested in the spiritual life.  After all, most conversations I overhear are about family, work, politics or drama.  I created an identity of a spiritual man as if I somehow was more spiritual than my neighbor. 

I was wrong.

I knew this Peace Corps experience would reveal to me truths that I hadn’t thought about before.  On my own for two years experiencing a life very different from America, this would be inevitable.  One of these truths has become apparent to me in the last month, and I must write about it.  It has transformed the way I view spirituality, the way I view my life in comparison to everything else around me.  I’m being broken down more and more daily of my identity as a spiritual man.  I’m beginning to see that spirituality is in everything. 

This last weekend I took the Myers-Briggs personality test.  I was labeled an INFJ.  I’ve taken the test several times before.  I once was labeled an INTJ, and before that an INTP.  I think it’s widely understood that any one test doesn’t hold the power to label you in your completeness, nor is any one book, any one idea, or any one belief.  We are much more complex.  At the same time we’re very simple.  When we take tests like this we often brand ourselves with an identity created by the results.  We may recreate ourselves somewhat, trying on a new image.  There was something different about this round of testing and the results though, something that revealed truth.  Before I had answered the questions based on how I wanted to respond.  Therefore whatever I wanted to change about myself always changed the results of the test.  This time I answered with how I actually respond to situations.  For years and years I’ve put on made-up identities and tried out various personalities, because I wasn’t satisfied with my current personality or didn’t really understand it.  I have great respect for the creator of the test, Carl Jung, whom I feel has a like-mind.  After I took the test and the results came back I was stunned by the revelations.  INFJ doesn’t describe me totally, but it comes pretty close generally. 

My primary mode of living is focused internally.  That I already knew.  Every test I’ve taken before resulted in me being a primarily introverted person.  I feel through personal reflection and meditation I become more centered, and it results in more motivation and energy.  After days of social contact I need a day to sit back and reflect, creating understanding and putting my experiences in an ordered perception.  The thing that struck me more so about the test results was how I perceive the world:  intuitively.  This I knew somewhat, but not to the extent the results entailed.  My secondary mode of living is external, where I deal with things according to how I feel about them or how they fit into my personal value system.  Most of the time this is done intuitively.  How true is that!  Gentle, caring, complex and highly intuitive individuals; artistic and creative, living in a world of hidden meanings and possibilities.  It goes on and on with the matches.  The description fit me and how I respond.  I don’t consider myself strictly an INFJ, but I do believe my brain is wired close to it.

Why does any of this matter anyway?  Through self-inquiry and self-knowledge we gain the greatest understanding of ourselves and of the world around us.  By really knowing ourselves we unlock endless possibilities and embrace life at its highest potential.  This was the purpose of my quest in the Peace Corps.  Many people fear being left alone with their thoughts.  When one is left in solitude with their own thoughts they realize they are the creator of their perceived world, their relationships, and their life.  Solitude was a commitment practiced by the early Christians and most spiritual teachers.  When they were alone the greatest realizations came to them, those revelations eventually being accepted by a wide majority of people and turned into a religion.  But people started relying on the revelations of others.  Today solitude is widely forgotten.  It is much easier just to take the wide road of deeming others more fit for spiritual authority and instead be a follower or sheep.  But when one begins to practice solitude and being alone with their thoughts they discover something profound: we are the creator of our world.  Everything that has happened to us, every relationship, every memory and experience we’ve had finds its place in our mind, and this mind we can manipulate.  Everything outside of us is part of our mind’s perception.  We are the creators of this mind world, our world alone, alone the perceivers, and this realization haunts those who fear solitude. 

But this is a paradox. 

While we are the dictator of our own reality, we are connected to everyone else’s and everything.  Everything that we see, hear, touch, smell or taste is connected to our mind-world, our world. 

And everything is spiritual. And everything is of God. And God is Love.

I am no more spiritual than my neighbor, or my friend, or my cat.  The key is awareness.  The ant that carries his load to the colony, the cow that eats the grass in the field, the sound of the bird calling out, the stars that shine bright in the sky, the kid that walks up to us on the street, the food that we put in our mouths, the dreams that we have in our sleep, the memories we have of the past, the aspirations we have of the future—all are connected and all are Divine.  Even our suffering. 

Our first goal in this life is to discover our true selves.  Our second goal is to discover that which maximizes the full potential of our true selves.  By finding our true selves we discover who we are.  By discovering our greatest energies we expand the realization of self-discovery and embrace a life of fulfillment.  We were all created for a purpose, and that purpose is fulfillment and understanding of our true selves at the highest level.  Not 20%, not 50%, not even 99%, but 100% fulfillment.  We were created to dream big and fulfill those dreams. 

We go through a constant process of peeling off layers of falsehood, mistaking our identity for roles and fake personalities, when in reality we’re much deeper individuals and unified with the same spirit.  Everything we experience in this life is for our self-discovery and self-fulfillment.  In the Garden of Eden Adam and Eve were created perfect and sinless.  They were told to be fruitful and multiply.  They were fruitful and multiplied, fulfilling their Divine purpose, but they lost touch with their Divine nature.  They went from purity to corruptness, nakedness to fear of their true selves.  

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.”  Marianne Williamson/Nelson Mandela

In the vehicles of our bodies and minds and being the conscious energy that we are, we align ourselves to that which makes us come alive, become most radiant, become most powerful, and reach our highest potential in God as our calling. 

I have a greater peace now aligning myself with my true nature.  Instead of trying to be something that I’m not, another false identity, I’m embracing who I am.  I’m not any one label, but I’m discovering my chemistry and what brings me to my highest energy.  I’m not a spiritual man living in a nonspiritual world; I’m a man awakening to my union with a spiritual world.  And there’s beauty and peace.

In awe of perfect sound

 Saturday night, November 2, I had a dream.  I was in a small auditorium with a handful of other people.  I don’t remember who all was there.  I do remember one of my fellow PCVs being there, won’t mention any names.  We were all looking forward where a group of young adults started playing instruments and singing.  They sounded amazing.  Perfect harmony, no bad notes, in tune, and beautiful instrumentation.  After the song ended one shorthaired blonde male that played asked if anyone was feeling directed by the Holy Spirit and wanted to come up and perform a song they wrote.  I certainly had no desire to go up there after that perfect performance.  They were smiling and very positive.  I knew they wouldn’t judge.  Or would they?  What song would I do anyway?  “A Call Out to Time?”  “Real Reward?” “The Offering?”  I would definitely need one that applied to both the religious and secular crowds, as both were present in the audience.  After nobody went up we split off into smaller groups.  I then had a piano in front of me and started to play around.   Oh how long it’s been since I felt the keys of a piano!  A girl next to me heard me and was impressed and wanted me to perform it in front of the whole group.  She was about to call out to the other groups when I told her “Please, not in front of everybody.”  I only played as other’s were distracted.  She held back.  Next thing I remember was the entire group was sitting down in a row on the floor.  Soon everybody was enchanted by the singing of the song “His Eye is on the Sparrow.”  For those that knew it, they sang along in leads and harmonies.  For those who didn’t, they were lost in the bliss of the sound.  I started harmonizing (one other guy was in the same harmony as me!).  It was the most beautiful sense of togetherness I had ever heard and felt.  I was soon brought to tears.  The beauty of the moment ran strong; it was unbelievable.  How did I experience this in a dream?  How rare is it to experience beautiful music like this with people you know, with a familiar but not widely known song, that leaves you speechless during and after in the silence?  I’ve never had a dream like this.