2013- A Year of Change

2012- the Year of Prophecy.  Media hyped up the year as being the possible “end of the world,” December 21, 2012.  But a simple study of the origin of that prophecy shows this was a mistaken understanding.  The Mayans crafted a cyclical calendar, a belief in time that was continuous, not linear with a beginning and an end.  2012 was not the end of the world, the Mayans believed, but the end of an era.

What truth is there to this belief?  Was 2012 really the end of an era?  For my family and myself, the prophecy has proved accurate. 

The end of an era means a change from the previous era.  When one has been comfortable in the preceding era, change is arduous.  When one has been longing for a breakthrough from a previous era of hardship, change is appreciated.   Perhaps change is both.

As my mother and I were sitting in the hot tub at our house in July of 2012, we reflected on life up to the present.  We echoed memories of life back in Yelm, school, college, trips and pets.  We agreed that we were in a transition period.  It started when my older brother Cory went off to college in 2002.  It progressed when I left for college myself in 2006, and even further in 2008 with the passing of my Grandma Rothwell in July and our move to Castle Rock in August.  2008 was also the year of my first international trip, which gave me the passion for travel and resulted in later trips and eventually motivated me to take this Peace Corps voyage.  2010 was my college graduation, Cami’s high school graduation, and Cali’s transfer to Toutle Lake High School.  The adored era of my childhood was closing, only mere memories left as its legacy.  The greatest factor of change was the succession of generations.  The last 10 years had seen many of the key figures of the previous era pass away.  Many of my grandparents’ siblings and their wives had departed.  The death that had the greatest affect on me was that of my Grandma Rothwell.  The extended Rothwell family used to gather together on a regular basis for birthdays and holidays, Grandma Rothwell being the matriarch of those gatherings.  She implemented into every soul the importance of family.  When she passed, it resulted in the greatest change of tradition that our family had ever experienced.  Getting the entire family together for celebrations became much more difficult, as the grandchildren grew and started their own families.  The succession of generations. Things would continue to alter.  The next great change transpired a little over four years later, digging deep into the core of our immediate family and fulfilling the Mayan prophecy of the change of eras. 

In January of this year, my Grandma Iverson passed away.  Living with our immediate family for over 24 years, she was a defining figure of my childhood.  While Mom and Dad were at work, she helped raise us kids when we were too young to go to school.  Throughout our school years, she would always meet us outside the bus stop, with a younger sibling in the stroller.  Every week she would make cookies and treats we would enjoy, as well as entertaining a drawer full of Cadbury chocolates we so savored.  She was more than a grandparent to us, though.  She was our second mother, and to all of us, a spiritual guide.  At the core of our being she implemented love, which revealed to us a greater Love, that which is at the core of All Being.  After our move to Castle Rock, change was happening at a greater rate.  Our family was still the same as it had been for 20+ years, but we knew one day we would lose the saint of our family.  As Grandma reached her 90s, dementia was starting to become a harsh reality.  Her short-term memory was waning, but her long-term memory and spiritual being were still very sharp.  In the next couple years her long-term memory started getting foggy and greater confusion set in, not only for her, but also for the family.  Is this the sort of decline this precious woman deserved?  What is it like to “lose your mind?”  While her capability of distinction and concrete conceptions were fading, her spiritual essence remained strong.  She was praying more than ever and was constantly leaning on God’s Hand.  While her mind left, her spirituality never did.  When Grandma Iverson passed in January, the feeling of loss overtook our family.  We knew the day would come, and we prepared for her departure.  The preparing for departure and the actual event weren’t the same, however, the latter being much more difficult.  We opened up to Divine Direction, as Grandma had taught us to do, and we knew that God had a purpose in all of this.  Leaning on this understanding, we were at peace with God taking her home.

While Grandma’s death was the greatest change any of us had gone through individually and as a family, we stood ready to watch God reveal his plan.  Within the next six months we had learned of four more deaths of family and friends.  Uncle Phillip Rothwell, George Beverely Shea, Rochelle (Iverson), and our neighbor’s brother Warren had all passed.  2013 was quickly becoming the greatest year of change any of us had ever witnessed.  In January, while Grandma was in the hospital, I heard I was going to be serving in Mongolia for two years.  The initial news left me shocked.  I expected to be going somewhere closer to home in Latin America.  Hearing that I was going to be going to Asia, especially with Grandma in the hospital, left an uneasy feeling inside.  My family and I were going through this change together, and now I was going to leave them to live on the other side of the world.  Grandma’s death drew us all closer, and I feared the homesickness of being away for so long.  Nevertheless, I believed this was my Divine Path, and I was going to trust open doors as the way to my Personal Legend.  I’ve been here almost two months.  Things are being revealed to me at a great pace, and I long to know more everyday.  The wisdom I gain will be with me for the rest of my life, and I cherish every day that I’m here. 

The reason I reflect on this year is because last week I heard of another death in our family.  It wasn’t a person but a pet.  We have had many pets before:  dogs, cats, cows, birds, rabbits, and chickens.  Only a couple pets we had kept for over 10 years.  The greatest connection any of us has ever had to a family pet was to Katonna, our German Sheppard of over 14 years.  She had lived with us at our old house and was the last association we had back to our old home.  In the last professional photo our family took together at the old house, Grandma sat in the middle, while Katonna laid in front.  The photo has become a classic overnight.  Earlier this year we had found a tumor on Katonna’s stomach, and it was growing.  Just as we had expected Grandma’s death, we expected Katonna to go within the next year.  When I was making one last round to say goodbye to my home before I departed for the airport, I looked at Katonna, who was wagging her tail and talking.  Oh how she loved to talk to us!  I petted her and sent her my love.  I knew that would be the last time I saw her.  In the middle of July, Katonna’s cancer spread.  On the 18^th, she didn’t come into the garage.  Instead, she lay in the tall grass outside and wouldn’t move.  On July 19^th, six months after Grandma’s passing, Katonna died.  The next day my Dad went on a walk around the property, where Katonna usually accompanied him.  The feeling of loss was great.  While Grandma’s death created a feeling of loss in the house (and in the heart), Katonna’s death extended the feeling outside.  Katonna’s presence had been so strong for so many years, her energy transcending that of any previous pet.  This was another great loss for the family.  I’m going to miss her.  

2013 has not been the year of change, as I would like it.  When one has been comfortable in the preceding era, change is arduous.  But it takes change to progress forward; it takes great difficulties to realize greater truths.  My childhood is complete.  The previous era may have been the golden age of my life, but maybe my life can be a golden existence.  

A new era is here-- I’m excited to witness it.