Monday, November 2, 2015

Declaration, Habit, Fulfillment--Going from Dreams to Actualization

I worked hard. Nothing came on a silver platter. I earned what I got, good or bad. I got no pre-determined allowance; the chores I did were required, no ifs, ands or butts (boy do my students get a kick when I say that last one!). Years later I would be rewarded of being a hard-worker, a character trait, which ever since has created positive lifelong results. Thanks to my parents, to good, strict parenting and never allowing thoughts of pride and privilege to dominant my psyche, I now lead a life of great possibility and an openness to experience life’s grandness without falling to life's never-ending circumstances.

I was the leading scorer of both my C-team and JV basketball teams my freshman and sophomore years. Both years I was awarded the Most Valuable Player (MVP) award. It wasn’t because I was more talented, not anymore than the players around me. They were all fantastic players. We won many championships in our elementary and middle school years with our group. After my 8th grade middle school season I personally decided to take a step beyond my 2006 teammates in basketball dedication: I decided to spend hours a day perfecting my game. I would shoot whether it was sunny, snowy or pouring down rain. From the 3-pointer to the jumper in the key (what I deemed the “Kobe” shot) I didn’t just talk about being a good basketball player: I developed a habit of action which enabled me to exceed anything I’ve ever done previously on the basketball court. John Maxwell said, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments, and that bridge must be crossed every day. Overtime that daily crossing becomes a habit. And ultimately, people do not decide their future; they decide their habits and their habits decide their future.” My aspiration was basketball, and through that aspiration I accomplished more than I ever imagined on the court.

The only way to reach your goals in this short duration of life is to establish good work habits TODAY. These habits must progress you and grow you. If they prevent you from attaining your desired goals they should be immediately discarded. In order to establish good habits you must take action, not in some future date, but now. Don’t wait until tomorrow; tomorrow will always be one day ahead of you. Begin today.

As a teenager and a young adult I had developed a poor habit of flaking. It started with my people-pleasing mentality: I was somebody who could never say “no” to invitations. Whenever I was invited to an event I would always say, “Sure,” even if I had no plan on going. I thought it would be better to give positive affirmations in the initial confrontation than pay retribution for canceling later. Hours later I’d pull off whatever story I could to exit my initial declaration while keeping my positive social contact with the one who invited me. It seemed harmless at first, but soon it began to ruin my relationships. I lost many good friendships on account of being flaky. I hurt myself; I hurt my future. It wasn’t because I couldn’t say “no” that I lost credibility amongst my friends; it was because I abandoned my word that people could no longer trust what came out of my mouth.

I often reflect on the story “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” Remember? The tale goes that there was a shepherd boy who tended his sheep at the foot of a mountain near a forest. It was lonely for him, so he devised a plan to get a little company. He rushed down towards the village calling out “Wolf, Wolf!” and the villagers came out to meet him. This pleased the boy so much that a few days after he tried the same trick, and again the villagers came to his help. Shortly after this a wolf actually did come out from the forest. The boy cried out “Wolf, Wolf,” louder than before. But this time the villagers, who had been fooled twice before, thought the boy was again lying, and nobody came to his aid. So the wolf made a good meal off the boy’s flock.

The fable is a metaphor of hypocrisy, something I was guilty of for a long time.  It’s opposite also has strong implications: mountains can be moved; healings can be manifested; relationships can be restored. The change to a life of integrity is the transition to a life of actualization and influence. Truth and honesty are the foundations of a fulfilled life and the most successful relationships. It takes a long time to rebuild trust, with oneself or with another. Memories aren’t forgotten easily. Why are lifelong marriages more sacred in both the religious and humanistic contexts? Because the integrity of the vow, the commitment to another soul, the truth of the word followed by action conquers all obstacles that will be sure to present themselves in the way.
Will your life be one of influence? What legacy are you wishing to leave?

Don’t wait for tomorrow to come. The sun may never rise again on your life. Start today. Several years ago my brother Cory and I were talking about making an international trip together to Costa Rica. We talked about it for years, but it wasn’t realized until we finally said to each other, “Today is the day we make the decision to go to Costa Rica” and we bought our tickets. These experiences would expand to Belize, Guatemala, and Norway. Initially it hurt (financially), but we’ve never regretted the decision of TODAY. Soon our finances equaled that of our friends, and the only difference between us and our friends was we had traveled to Central America and Northern Europe while our friends hadn’t.

You can dream for years without seeing your vision realized. The gap between your dreams and reality is in your daily habits. Habits are not established tomorrow. They begin today. Don’t waste anymore time imagining your dreams and hoping they will somehow happen. Be proactive. With a heart of integrity go out and begin today. You won’t regret the manifested future you were destined for.

Today is the day we buy our tickets to paradise.



The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively.
Bob Marley

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

With integrity, you have nothing to fear, since you have nothing to hide. With integrity, you will do the right thing, so you will have no guilt.
Zig Ziglar

Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life - all areas of life. The really good news is that anyone can develop both honesty and integrity.
Zig Ziglar

Be Impeccable With Your Word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don Miguel Ruiz

Let me define a leader. He must have vision and passion and not be afraid of any problem. Instead, he should know how to defeat it. Most importantly, he must work with integrity.
A. P. J. Abdul Kalam

The strength of a nation derives from the integrity of the home.
Confucius

The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded.
Scott Hamilton

Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.
Albert Einstein

Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.
Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to
succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have.
Abraham Lincoln

Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, Self-Reliance


Better is it that thou shouldest not vow, than that thou shouldest vow and not pay.
Ecclesiastes 5:5

But above all things, my brethren, swear not, neither by heaven, neither by the earth, neither by any other oath: but let your yea be yea; and [your] nay, nay; lest ye fall into condemnation.
James 5:12