When I was a senior in high school one of my most passionate dreams crumbled. I was a one-sport athlete. I played baseball in my younger years, but I found the sport to be slow-moving and boring, so I quit. I also had experienced soccer, swimming, and track-and-field, but my number one passion was basketball. I dedicated my entire high school mindset to basketball, breathed basketball, ate basketball, slept basketball. I had high hopes and dreams of playing college ball and, now jokingly reflecting, the NBA. I was the leading scorer of my freshman and sophomore teams, C-Team and JV respectively. When my junior year came around I expected to start on the varsity squad. Instead I swung between JV and varsity. That was a hit in the chest, but I intended to press hard my senior year, get acknowledged for the sport, and win a college scholarship. When my senior year came along we had a coaching change. I had a good relationship with the incoming coach. I was in his classes, and he respected me as a player. During the summer league I recorded fourteen rebounds with an injured thumb. I was impressing, or so I thought. When the season started I was told I was going to be the seventh guy in the rotation. The coach only played six substantially. The first game I played four minutes and scored five points. The second game I played a little more but didn’t score a point. Discouraged with my role on the team and the broken dreams, I quit just before the third game.
The decision to end my sports aspirations hurt. I developed major resentment towards certain individuals. I held grudges against the players who took the role I thought I deserved. I held grudges against my high school coaches. I held a grudge against God. Why did this happen to me? Why after all this work do I have nothing to show? I went on to play YMCA ball with several other friends in high school, which I enjoyed. I also played intramurals in college, which met my competitive expectations. It took me several years before I was finally able to forgive those I was upset with. Although this is minuscule compared to losing a wife and kids, the same message applies.
Resentment is an malicious disease. It starts in the mind and spreads throughout the body. I remember one time I was so resentful towards an individual that I became overstressed and got shingles all over my chest.
What you think you become.
My resentment replayed over and over in my mind, causing me to experience a great discomfort physically; the mind, body, spirit connection.
Why do so many spiritual teachings insist that we forgive one another?
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians 4:32
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:13
Forgiveness is not only the root of religious faith; it’s the root of inner peace, joy, and love experienced in this life. Oftentimes we wait for that glory day when we’re reunited with the Creator, when all is made right. Needless to say, on that day you won’t be worrying about any of the stuff you’re worrying about now. That’s a great hope, but if it means putting off peace, joy, and love you can experience NOW, it’s a great tragedy to the sanctity of life. The time of union will certainly come and last eternally. The time that doesn’t last for long is now. Feel your breath. Feel your life.
Resentment and bitterness does the mind, body, and spirit no good. It’s an excuse to justify our feeling of victimization, that we have been wronged, the “poor-me” mentality. It's an addiction. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is letting go of past grievances, past resentment and bitterness, and feeling the freedom and peace overtake you that dominoes through the entire mind, body, and spirit. It allows one to experience love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. It’s the transformative decision to learn from the past, go forth in our mission, and reach self-actualization. It’s time to stop making excuses that are holding you back from your full potential, a potential gained through a life of peace, joy, and love. Quit playing the victim, and embrace the life God destined you to live.
Quotes on forgiveness:
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” Robert Muller
“Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much.” Oscar Wilde
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” Lewis B. Smedes
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” Mahatma Gandhi
“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” Peter Ustinov
“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” Mark Twain
“Holding onto anger, resentment and hurt only gives you tense muscles, a headache and a sore jaw from clenching your teeth. Forgiveness gives you back the laughter and the lightness in your life.” Joan Lunden
“Forgiveness is the final form of love.” Reinhold Niebuhr
“I learned a long time ago that some people would rather die than forgive. It’s a strange truth, but forgiveness is a painful and difficult process. It’s not something that happens overnight. It’s an evolution of the heart.” Sue Monk Kidd
“When you forgive, you in no way change the past- but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer
“We cannot embrace God’s forgiveness if we are so busy clinging to past wounds and nursing old grudges.” T.D. Jakes
“All major religious traditions carry basically the same message, that is love, compassion and forgiveness; the important thing is they should be part of our daily lives.”
Dalai Lama
